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Contents

WHAT'S NEW

Well that's easy: EVERYTHING's new!

The web-site www.mylifecoach-online.com launched this week and this is the first "My Life Coach" Monthly Newsletter. In here you will find a digest of my latest explorations in the world of self-development, some handy hints from your very own Life Coach as well as pointers to some other respected coaches whose wisdom I value greatly. Of course there will also be details of my appearances local, virtual and international as and when they are scheduled.

I encourage you to share this newsletter with your friends as it contains invaluable FREE advice, tips and resources that you can use now to make a positive difference to your life! In fact why not take a look at My Life Coach online and check out further free resources that you can take advantage of now.

This month we kick-off with "Kicking BUT" a personal favourite of mine that kicks self-limiting beliefs into touch, a look at the increasingly popular Authenticity movement, Emotional Freedom Technique and a little introduction to the new website www.mylifecoach-online.com!!

Happy reading...

Namaste.

MD

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KICKING BUT

Many of the conversations with my clients start with a list of those things they'd like to do which they are not actually doing. My personal favourite, because it's actually mine, is

"I'd like to get to the gym more often"

I hear the resounding reply..."So JUST go!" and that's when we get really clever...

"I'd like to get to the gym more often but I'm too lazy"

I'll bet you can think of a whole host of things you'd like to be doing more of, or even to start doing BUT you've also got a really good list of reasons why you haven't got round to it. I'd like to share with you, if I may, my thoughts on the word BUT.

In one of my first explorations into coaching, coaching myself, I was reading Carole Gaskell's excellent book "Your Pocket Life Coach". One of the exercises was to write down three things I was most proud of. One of my examples involved me taking part in a lot of strenuous physical activity from 8am til 6pm every day for 3 months in really uncomfortable surroundings. As I read it back to myself I thought "well I can't REALLY be lazy or I would never have achieved that". This moment led me to think about the word BUT...

There are things we believe about ourselves, things we choose to believe that regularly undermine us succeeding at things we want to enjoy. So often we are so comfortable in our little trenches of normality that change is resisted ever so subconsciously. So often we pick up on a belief like "I'm lazy" and every single time we get a good example of that, we lock it into our memories, shouting out the counter-examples. It's a belief we choose to build and support. I had access to two different types of evidence, but chose to believe a particular one.

EXERCISE

Think of something you really would like to do more of, something that when you say it to people you add on the dreaded "... but I'm...". Write it down

"I'd like to get to the gym more often but I'm too lazy"

  1. Write down the Belief (the bit after the word BUT...)
    "I'm too lazy"
  2. Write down how it Undermines you?
    "It makes me believe I'm not like the people that go to the gym"
  3. What action would you Take if you could kick this BUT into touch?
    "I'd go to the gym tomorrow morning and feel like I belonged there"
  4. Think of an example where this belief is not true about you, if you can't then simply imagine what it would be like if it wasn't true?

Here comes the science... Choose to believe this new belief, whether you found evidence for it or simply imagined what it would be like. Every time you think about what it is you want to achieve, STOP the voice inside your head that says BUT... kick it into touch, replace BUT with AND and insert your new positive belief about yourself.

Now re-write your statement:

"I'd like to go the gym more often AND I'm not lazy"

Use this as many times as you like. Sometimes you'll come up with new and improved buts to replace the ones you've kicked out. That's ok, just repeat the process with the new ones, until you're left with no excuses, no buts only positive beliefs and positive action coming out from them. Positive actions that will re-inforce your beliefs and make them stronger.

Happy BUT-Kicking...

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ALTREPRENEURS ( & AUTHENTIC LIVING)

This month insurers More Than published a Health Wealth and Happiness report which uncovered a hitherto un-named category of business person. The Altrepreneur, like their colleague the Entrepreneur, runs one of the 3 Million Micro Businesses in operation in the UK today. However unlike the Entrepreneur, with a financial and career focus, the Altrepreneur is doing it for entirely different reasons.

It seems that 70% of those small businesses are being run because the owner/operator is focused on achieving a change in their life-style through running a small business, they are looking to increase their overall quality of life by putting in some up front hard graft.

This goes hand in hand with the growing movement around Authenticity (see the links below). The idea that the source of much tension in our lives is the conflict between our true selves and the roles that we play. Getting in touch with your true self and letting go of that tension will lead to a very different kind of life.

Neil Croft's book, Authentic Business, is one of the louder voices of this drive towards a more balanced life. It will certainly challenge your preconceptions about the systems of society that we voluntarily subscribe to. You may not feel comfortable with everything he says and that is ok, but it's worth the challenge of asking yourself if everything you assume you "need" or "have" to do is quite as compulsory or necessary as you might think.

Now no-one is asking you (unless you are..) to give up your day job, we don't all need jack everything in to start up a new business. However you also do not need to stick to the same path just because it is well worn or because you think you can't make a change. I would encourage you, as an exercise, to consider these three questions quietly to yourself over the next week as you go about your day to day life.

Then read up on some of the Authentic living stories for some inspiration... pay attention to what ideas you think of along the way, they are important clues to your true direction.

 

Authentic Business - The website behind the movement - Neil Crofts Authenticity network can be found from here. You will find discussion forums and directories of authentic businesses that are out there living it
(www.authenticbusiness.com)

Authentic Happiness Coaching - Newsletter archive from Dr. Martin Seligman whose professional work focuses on positive psychology, particularly interesting and challenging are some of the thoughts on integrity and the exercises on practising integrity.
(http://www.authentichappinesscoaching.com/newsletter/archives.php)

Authentic Practice Coach - Shaun O'Reilly's practice focuses on helping coaches and business people find their authenticity to improve their performance. His newsletters are a constant source of inspiration for me to focus my practice building activities.
(www.authenticpractice.com)

http://www.alterpreneur.co.uk/guides/HealthWealthHappiness.pdf - the link to the alterpreneurs report from More Than for those of you reading this in non-html browsers

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EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE - EFT

This is just one I have to share, it's amazing. Friends and colleagues of mine will tell you that I'm no tree hugger... I don't have energy-crystals hanging up in my office but I do believe in the amazing power of the human mind to look after itself and it's own body and EFT is the best example I've seen of this yet.

EFT is a meridian therapy based around the understanding that there are energy centres and pathways in the body. This knowledge of the human body whilst not part of conventional western medicine has been a part of eastern medicine for over 5,000 years. EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture, except we don't use needles. Instead, we stimulate the meridians by tapping on them with our fingertips.

Tapping on a series of key points on the body whilst focusing on the issue at hand disrupts negative flows of energy that are linked to the behaviours, emotions, memories that we wish to heal. It has been shown time and time again to dramatically collapse the negative emotions.

I first encountered this while training with Curly Martin where a few of her assistants were EFT practitioners. I had my first actual practical experience of using it following my NLP training with Paul McKenna. It seems Paul had the same initial reaction of "can this really be true" but as he has been seen on TV affirming, he really knows that this has a high repeatable success rate.

I am now using EFT with clients to release them from behaviours, compulsions and emotions that they KNOW are not helping them but they feel overwhelmed by.

Please email me martin@mylifecoach-online.com for a free worksheet on how to use EFT on yourself.

Other EFT links:
www.emofree.org - Gary Craig, founder of EFT - a vast wealth of material, including amazing case studies

www.the-heart-centre.com - Val & Paul Lynch, UK Based - appeared on Richard and Judy to dramatically demonstrate EFT on two random volunteers

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ABOUT My Life Coach Online

Well it's finally up, online, and I'm very happy with it. The site has an overview of Coaching services approach and benefits and it also has a resources area full of useful links, hints and tips and reading lists. You can use these resources to find your own path to learning about the different topics discussed in this newsletter. There are also links to the various training organisations that I have enjoyed in my own personal development.

Future plans will include a daily tips section, discussion forums, online/recorded interviews with me and other famous coaches, and a private client section for my one-on-one clients.

Any and all suggestions are welcomed...

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SHARE THE LOVE

Do you know someone who is as interested as you are in how to make amazing and long-lasting change in their life? If there is someone who you know who would enjoy these tips then please pass it on. Feel free to forward this email or re-quote it in your own, I would only ask that you acknowledge all sources...

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QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse.
You must first BE who you really are, then, DO what you need to do, in order to HAVE what you want"
Margaret Young

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